Washing. Wishing. I was thinner. Richer. Stronger. Better looking.
When does the anti-Self chatter stop?
Answer: When I train my mind to be stronger than the monkey.
Travel helps. I can roam for miles. Anonymous. Curious. Engaging for only mere moments with random strangers who have offered a smile or energetic nod hello.
And then I rediscover backpacking. Time and time again. Carrying a heavy pack overfilled with quick-cook food, warm sleeping gear, and journal supplies, I find mySelf living there. My body feels strong. My mind feels clear. My heart feels full. The real kind of full. Not the addictive, manic kind of full. But the truest kind of full. The kind of full I feel when I'm alone and truly present.....bathed in the natural beauty of sun rays glistening on an alpine lake or red rock being warmed by the desert air. The type of full that settles in slowly. The kind of full that says, "Thank you dear life. Let us celebrate yet another day."