Why is it that I look upon my Self with disgust when I have gained weight, even when it's only 5 pounds? Is it because it is a literal illustration of my pain, grief, and loss? My feelings of unworthiness? Loneliness? Dissatisfaction? My lack of self-care? A shout-out to the amount of time spent in front of a screen versus being outside, being active, or engaging in a regular mindfulness or yoga practice?
The disgust probably comes from all of these things. I know it is my message to others that I am not living in my fullness. Not wholeheartedly connecting with my bliss. Literally eating my emotions. Packing on for all the world to see. A cry for help? Possibly.
As a travel through these epic landscapes, I renew my vows to cultivate a vibrant internal landscape filled with deep and authentic love for Self. May my deepest yearnings be turned inward, a seeking to connect with my own highest Self. May my focus be on securing the attention of my intuition and internal wise womyn and letting others navigate their own paths, independent of me and my life choices.
And if my muffin top starts to disappear in the process, well then so be it!